Privet privetttt my lovlis xoxoxoxo welcome to #2!
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiixixiixii ive been listening 2 lots of eurodance 2000s music it helps me focus heres a fav ;D been stuck in my head playing overand over and over and overrer
I just began my full-time rigorous oil painting classes, three hours every morning. I want to become a master, and I’m studying at the Art Students League of New York. i feel psycho tho working fulltime as a waitress aswell literally everyday i wake up 7am to go on the train and avoid eyecontact with bums for an hour and go to art class and then another 1 hour ride to my job to work the rest of the night until i get home around 12am ish. psychooooooooooo but i chose this and i want to be the best i want to paint so good its painful
I WANT TO BE SO GREAT THAT YOU HATE ME
owowow everytime i look into my reflection i find my lips bleeding ive been so off edge and sleep deprived recently that i'kk unconsciously bite the skin off my lipsszzz owwhhhh and here is what i wore today xoxoxoxo it is fake fur :( buuut i have real fur rabbit+raccoon coming in the mail hopefully it will arrive next week! i also want a large white one that drapes all the way down to the floor to wear with some heels but i hav to save up for that...Fur feels like armor like protection some symbol almost feels holy and a little evil, skin of a being to guard U from urs
you know a secret of mine that i guess belongs here in Sonyaguts.com is that in every one of my paintings it has to have a piece of me because its a piece of my soul you know. so like every piece has my blood, or spit, or snot, or both, or more. soooo at my art classes we all paint in the same studio and i was trying to really sneakily like spit on my painting and ummm it was dead quiet in there and OMG i got caught. they were literally all staring at me cuz i guess i made a huge FAT loogey asf sound sooo i tried covering it up by faking sneezing right after so it just seems like im conjested (even tho u can clearly see it all over my painting like dollops) and the instructor came over and gave me a tissue and i had to be like "oh noooo it got on my pieceee :(((" like idk i just feel weird like an undercover alien cop in a human suit faking the most obvious not real sneezes
a couple of you have been asking me wat website i used for this blog: neocities.org is like a domain site but you have to code everything by hand. i reccomend w3schools for learning to code, when i was like 13 i was obsessed with websites and taught myself css +html + a little bit of javascript. this site took me likeeeee lol furever to make but i thinkk its worth it because its completely customizable ya know i live hereee. 
I blocked my (EX!!!!)boyfriend 3 days ago
i came home today after my art class and ill be honest i hated every stroke of paint it was quite painful but i love that feeling sometimes it feels like a sacrafice. i dont really like to paint i just feel like i really have to because if i dont then what else am i good for. i feel like creation is the closest to Godliness we can get, like how Jesus isnt complete without his blood anyways thank you любимки 4 ur attention have a sweet nighttttt or dayyyyyyyyyyy byeeeeee Until next blog XO SONYA GUTS